Sunday the 9th of September. Palms were sweaty, nicotine was consumed, nerves were rattled and somewhere, very quietly a mouse bit the dirt. As the sun split the stones I was amazed that 13 of the 15 Cash League Finalists showed up on time and we got the game of the summer underway. Yup three months sloggin away at the cash tables for the precious 50 hours finally came to fruition. The line up was as follows, in no particular order:
Hank the Tank, Shogun, The Hulk, Moaner Lisa, Roadkill, Bob the Builder, The Pushmeister (cheers for that one Santos), Old Father Time, Pinocchio, Jimmny Cricket, Bo Kent, The Ewok, Nancy (oy bitch!!! Where are my photos????), Teddy Ruxpin and Chicken Little.
The cream of the crop, best of the best, or just saddo's who had no lives and spent it all here. (Which we love ye for, in fact we miss ye. sniff sniff)
Yoda and myself were on hand to cause carnage and carnage we did indeed bring to the table. The first player out was old father time but we also lost Jimmny Cricket in the same hand! Old Father Time raised to 200 (blinds still 50/100), Teddy Ruxpin calls, Jimmny moves all in. Now it should be mentioned that my table was the tightest table known to man on this green earth. Old Father Time disappears into the tank and eventually moves all in as well. Jimmny has him covered, Teddy has them both covered and calls. Oi! Jimmny has pocket 10's, OFT has AJ suited in hearts and Teddy shows the cowboys. Flop comes King high and the others dont improve. Well thats a little lie, Jimmny did hit his set on the river but by then Teddy's army of Cowboys took control and shot everyone up.
I do believe Roadkill went next when his all in with a paired 10 on the flop was called by the Pushmeisters gutshot. No prizes for guessing whether he hit or his gutshot or not. Between the here and there of it we lost track of who went next as Elvis, the reigning Tournament League Champion decided to pay us mere mortals a visit. He perched himself on Bob the Builder's shoulder and became something of a good luck charm when the following conversation was overheard:
"Why are you sitting here?"
"I'm your good luck charm. You know the teddies that people bring to tournaments on telly. Well I'm your teddy."
Much scratching of heads and open mouthed-ness took place. "I'm your teddy". Well well well.
Before the final table we also lost Moaner Lisa and Pinocchio. Most people believe it was to Shogun who was performing his best impression of a hoover as he was sucking all the chips up.
Top four getting paid as follows:
A deal was struck where 4th now got €300 and 5th got €200.
The results of the final Table were as follows:
- The Ewok
- Nancy second Nuts
- Bo Kent
- Bob the Builder
- The Push Meister
- Hank the Tank
- The Sulk
- Teddy Ruxpin
- Chicken Little
Yes as you can see that was a Cahir Top four. Congrats to the lads and well played by everyone. Things got interesting in the top three when the following hand developed.
Shogun turns top two pair and Nancy turns top pair with a flush draw. Shogun's wondering how he's going to get paid and pushes. Nancy believes she's miles ahead and calls. She cant believe it when Shogun turns the two pair but the river rears its ugly clubbed head to give Nancy the flush. If you come to the club within the next few weeks you might still be able to make out the chalkline on the pavement from Shogun's exit. Eeeeeeep.
Heads up went as heads up usually do. Chips were passed, eyebrows were raised and many poker faces were displayed. The Ewok crippled Nancy when his 69spades flopped a flush against Nancy's A6hearts. The finishing had was as follows:
Ewok AJ Nancy Q10
All over. Again congrats to the boys and send me on those Pics. Props to Chicken Little for being the onsite photographer. God knows how the photos are going to turn out. Mmmmmmmm spare ribs!
As most of ye might not know a new league started that very night and with The Gentleman, The Pushmeister, Shogun, Bo Kent, Bob the Builder and Sundry the game was absolutely nuts!! It started out its short life as a Holdem game, which turned into a Round of Each game which then evolved into an all Omaha game!!!! Madness??????? I think we swam through the pool of madness into the ocean of the ridiculous and drifted there for a while.
The game was going well until yours truly, after a wee little nap, took the dealers chair and apparently flopped the Pushmeister the nuts every hand. He ran riot over the table for, count em, seven hands. There was no beating him until Bob the Builder pushed with his house of sevens going up against Pushmeisters house of 10's. All was going as planned for the Pushmeister until the river came. Are you at all surprised that it brought the case seven? Maybe I shouldnt have naps before I deal anymore for there the game ended. Sniff sniff.
Anyhoo we are back to normal here at the K&K. Small bits of news:
New Cash League is already underway. Same structure as previous league.
Tournaments from next week will start at 9pm. No excuses.
Blonde Poker up and running in the Club by next Monday (pinkie swear)
So I think that about covers everything for now. I shall check over things and let ye know what the hissy haps is.
til then I bring you peace, love and the worst rivers you ever did see.
***Tip of the day: Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn for sega!