Royal Flushes, Low Sperm Counts and Homosexual Poker Machines.....

WTF!!!!! What a week. Yes I know its late in coming but so much has happened that its tough to keep up with. Never mind trying to remember everything. There were three highlights during the week and they are all mentioned in the title. First things first though.

"Here's the news, all the news that's new and improved and approved by the US army, the sweetest smelling army in the world"

Thats right, we're having ourselves a wee scalp tournament on Bank Holiday Monday the 6th of August. Doors open at 3pm and the tourney kicks off at 4pm. €100 + €20 scalp +€10 reg. Starting stack is 15,000!!!!!!! Half hour blinds all the way. Any questions, you know the mail address or you can contact me through the club number.

We had our royal flush bonus decimated by a certain Jimmny Cricket whilst holding Q6 off. The new royal flush bonus has a few bi-points that should be noted. You must hold two elements of the royal flush in your hand to actually get the bonus. Both the house and the players will contribute to the bonus as well. Every time you sit at a cash game for the first time you chip in €1. We will chip in as well and get it moving. All in favour say "Aye".

The homosexual poker machines are courtesy of our own Dale Winton. Whilst playing a his favourite machine inside he never got a gamble on a full house. Then the kicking and screaming began. I do sometimes wonder.

We have a name change as well. The Le Mons Little Mexican shall now be called Nancy. There are a couple of reasons for this.

1. Nancy is easier to type.
2. Poor Nancy cant stop being "outdrawn" and is constantly having to fold 2nd nuts. 1,2,3 awwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
   

nothing but love Nancy

*******************ROADKILL SUCKS!!!!!!***************************

Anyhoo currently sitting here watching Playboy tv. Now thats how Big Brother ought to be. Aw yeah!!!!!

Sorry about that just got a little distracted there by, ummmm, an advert!

Tourney leaderboard will be updated this week. Tis fairly close at the moment. I shall be undertaking the arduous task of updating the cash hours after I do this. They shall be posted on the notice board in the usual spot. Last count showed that 6 players have qualified with the cash pool over €2500. Nice! So it could be a six handed freeroll for that amount or you could get your cash hours in and make a game of it. The league final is on the 9th of September. Do it!!!!!

I'm actually going to leave the low sperm count story to the man who uttered those immortal words. Santos, the stage is yours.

So on that note I'm gonna say "Spider pig, spider pig....."

love

Caboose

*** Tip of the day: When you buy a car, make sure that its not an Giant Alien Robot.....hang on a sec!!!!! Make goddamn sure its a fricking Giant Alien Robot.